Why I Don't Talk About Myself / 為什麼我不談我自己

Hey world, first off for those of you reading this blog for the sake of the Japanese class, this post is completely unrelated, so don't feel the need to read it unless you want to.

我們分手已經是一個星期以前了，我們還沒找到一個新的平衡。We've since decided to not return to a relationship with one another, but rather to 繼續做朋友。 It's strange. 我們也還是室友，所以我發完全避免彼此。我們都承認我們不要drift apart or stop being friends or whatever, so today we 吃午飯 together. We chatted a bit, and pretty soon it was back to our old habit; 她說，我聽。It's very natural, even comfortable, for me， 但是我不能否認這樣也很無聊。有一次她談起功課來說她什麼功課都很容易，不必go to lecture and 聽 the professor's 演講. To me it sounded arrogant, I mean I can't think of a time when I'd go up to a friend and tell them all about how I'm the fastest at recognizing カタカナ in class or how on top of my readings I was last week in my seminar. 反正，我問她為什麼要告訴我這些事情，她顯出有點不明白的樣子，不知道我這句話是要說什麼的。I explained in greater detail, 她就吃驚了，問了我我怎麼能 feel like she's bragging or something. I just made nice though and went on, 說穿了，說她自己怎麼樣就是她的習慣。

輪到我了，now I was the confused one. I couldn't understand why she was telling me these things. It is her habit, but 為什麼不是我的呢？為什麼我這麼難談我自己? Why don't I share my life with other people the way other people do? わかりません。我常常開玩笑說我的生活根本是太無聊了，沒什麼可說的，但是這 is utterly false. My life is at least as interesting as 我的同學和朋友。為什麼我不能像他們一樣拿我生活中最日常的事情來說成一件大事？I don't know. Je ne sai pas. 我不曉得。わかりません。But I intend to find out, because 我有談起自己來的權利, and I need to own it.